1
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,540
lf you must know, l'm just about
to leave for something called

2
00:00:14,713 --> 00:00:16,256
a speed date.

3
00:00:16,424 --> 00:00:19,261
- What's a speed date?
- Well, apparently, it's the latest thing.

4
00:00:20,055 --> 00:00:22,012
Twelve men and 1 2 women
get together in a room.

5
00:00:22,182 --> 00:00:24,141
They spend eight minutes
talking to one another,

6
00:00:24,311 --> 00:00:26,935
and then they move on
to the next person after a bell rings.

7
00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:32,532
Basically, it's all the stress and
humiliation of a blind date, times 1 2.

8
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,491
Wow, talk about desperate.

9
00:00:37,457 --> 00:00:39,416
So, what brought this on?

10
00:00:39,586 --> 00:00:43,633
l don't know. l'm just so tired
of being surrounded by happy couples.

11
00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:47,087
l just thought l should do something
a bit more proactive.

12
00:00:47,307 --> 00:00:49,216
You wouldn't be talking about
Niles and Daphne?

13
00:00:49,393 --> 00:00:51,850
Among others. Believe me,
no one could be happier for Niles.

14
00:00:52,022 --> 00:00:53,850
But there are days
when his lovesick-swain act

15
00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:55,818
wears the tiniest bit thin.

16
00:00:55,987 --> 00:00:58,395
Hello, all.

17
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,873
Notice anything different?

18
00:01:07,087 --> 00:01:08,749
- l like it.
NlLES: Thank you.

19
00:01:08,966 --> 00:01:11,802
l've never worn an undergarment
in public before.

20
00:01:12,263 --> 00:01:14,552
- ls that my sweater?
- Yes, here. What's the emergency?

21
00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:17,217
Well, l'm going out this evening,
and l was thinking about

22
00:01:17,396 --> 00:01:18,725
changing my attire.

23
00:01:18,898 --> 00:01:22,316
While the suit projects
a certain professionalism--

24
00:01:22,487 --> 00:01:23,863
You know, Dr. Frasier Crane.

25
00:01:24,031 --> 00:01:29,076
--l was thinking perhaps the sweater
would impart a more casual feel.

26
00:01:29,248 --> 00:01:31,407
Just Fras. Any thoughts?

27
00:01:32,169 --> 00:01:34,744
So l bet you and Daphne
have big Valentine's Day plans.

28
00:01:34,923 --> 00:01:38,544
Oh, yes. She's cooking dinner for me.
And then l've arranged a big surprise.

29
00:01:38,721 --> 00:01:41,392
l'm flying her to Canc�n
for a long romantic weekend.

30
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:42,970
Not bad.

31
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:46,516
Yes, l'm whisking her to the airport
in a limo filled with exotic orchids.

32
00:01:46,692 --> 00:01:48,650
You don't think
that's too over-the-top, do you?

33
00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:51,028
No, l think that boat sailed
with your T-shirt.

34
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,816
Here's an idea. What if l put
the sweater under the jacket?

35
00:01:53,996 --> 00:01:55,870
Then they'll get
the best of both worlds.

36
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,996
Honestly, Frasier,
could you be more self-absorbed?

37
00:01:59,170 --> 00:02:01,377
Goodbye, Roz. lf you wanna know
more about our trip,

38
00:02:01,549 --> 00:02:04,504
we'll have pictures on our website
when we get back.

39
00:02:07,225 --> 00:02:09,467
For God's sake, Frasier, flip a coin.

40
00:02:09,645 --> 00:02:12,850
Look, Roz, l know this may seem like
nothing to you, but the tiniest decision

41
00:02:13,025 --> 00:02:15,019
can shape your whole destiny.

42
00:02:15,947 --> 00:02:18,570
So which path should l follow?

43
00:02:18,743 --> 00:02:21,116
Sweater. Suit.

44
00:02:21,288 --> 00:02:24,624
Sweater. Suit. Sweater.

45
00:02:24,794 --> 00:02:27,417
- Oh, just pick one.
- Good point.

46
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:31,669
You're right. Okay, fine.
l will go with the suit.

47
00:02:32,431 --> 00:02:33,630
You made the right choice.

48
00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,553
Wish me luck.

49
00:02:35,728 --> 00:02:37,009
- l'm sorry. Pardon me.
- Sorry.

50
00:02:37,189 --> 00:02:39,895
Say, don't you work at KACL?

51
00:02:40,069 --> 00:02:42,988
- Yes, l just started. Mike Schafer.
- Oh, hi, Mike. Frasier Crane.

52
00:02:43,157 --> 00:02:45,281
- Have you met Roz Doyle?
- No.

53
00:02:45,452 --> 00:02:47,992
Oh, you are new, aren't you?

54
00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:52,247
ROZ: Can l buy you a cup of coffee?
WAlTRESS: Oh, my God.

55
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,545
MONlCA: Oh, my God.
ROZ: Frasier, are you okay?

56
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:55,998
FRASlER:
Well, l-- Ooh.

57
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:58,794
Ow, gosh, l think
l've wrenched my shoulder.

58
00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:01,217
- l am so sorry. l...
- No, it's all right. Ow.

59
00:03:01,394 --> 00:03:04,231
l'm taking you to the emergency room.
Please, it's the least l can do.

60
00:03:04,399 --> 00:03:06,226
l've got my car right outside.
l'll take you.

61
00:03:06,402 --> 00:03:08,811
Roz, don't you have coffee waiting?

62
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:12,657
- l'm Frasier.
- Hi, l'm Monica.

63
00:03:12,829 --> 00:03:16,034
- Oh, you must think l'm such a klutz.
- No, not at all.

64
00:03:17,211 --> 00:03:19,453
For God's sake, Frasier, flip a coin.

65
00:03:19,631 --> 00:03:22,836
Look, Roz, l know this may seem like
nothing to you, but the tiniest decision

66
00:03:23,011 --> 00:03:25,006
can shape your whole destiny.

67
00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:28,604
So which path should l follow?

68
00:03:28,771 --> 00:03:31,097
Sweater. Suit.

69
00:03:31,274 --> 00:03:34,610
Sweater. Suit. Sweater.

70
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:37,190
- Oh, just pick one.
- Good point.

71
00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:41,618
You're right. Okay, fine.
l will go with the suit.

72
00:03:43,127 --> 00:03:45,168
No, no, the sweater.

73
00:03:45,339 --> 00:03:48,045
- You made the right choice.
- Thank you.

74
00:03:48,218 --> 00:03:50,972
MONlCA: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. l'm so sorry.

75
00:03:51,140 --> 00:03:53,763
lt's okay. No harm done.

76
00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:56,309
Lord, what a klutz.

77
00:03:56,982 --> 00:03:59,819
- All right, Roz, wish me luck.
- Good luck.

78
00:03:59,987 --> 00:04:02,943
Mike Schafer. lt looks like you're
gonna need another cup of coffee.

79
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,280
Oh, yeah.

80
00:04:09,126 --> 00:04:12,462
MONlCA: You know, you're not the first
guy l've sent to the emergency room.

81
00:04:12,632 --> 00:04:15,884
When l was 1 0, my brother fell off
my handlebars and broke his foot.

82
00:04:16,054 --> 00:04:18,048
ln art school,
a pottery wheel got away from me

83
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:21,725
and sort of rolled down some stairs,
and l broke one guy's knee

84
00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:23,558
and another guy's hip.

85
00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:26,189
l suppose after that
you went on a kiln spree.

86
00:04:26,363 --> 00:04:28,272
[BOTH LAUGHlNG]

87
00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:31,867
Yeah, l guess you can say l've broken
more than my share of bones.

88
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,451
And more than your fair share
of hearts, l'm sure.

89
00:04:35,627 --> 00:04:37,786
l don't know about that.

90
00:04:40,635 --> 00:04:43,970
Frasier, l am so sorry about your arm.
l hope l haven't ruined your plans.

91
00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:46,513
No, actually,
l didn't have anything special planned.

92
00:04:47,312 --> 00:04:49,685
Hey, have you heard about
that new pirate movie?

93
00:04:49,858 --> 00:04:51,603
lt's rated ''Arrr.''

94
00:04:55,951 --> 00:04:58,657
Yes, that's very droll.

95
00:04:58,830 --> 00:05:03,044
- Get it? Arrr.
- Yes, yes, l do.

96
00:05:03,212 --> 00:05:06,215
That's sort of my test joke.
You know, to see if a guy's cool or not.

97
00:05:06,384 --> 00:05:10,218
Can you believe
you're the first guy here who laughed?

98
00:05:10,432 --> 00:05:12,675
Can't you see it?
A pirate walks into a move theatre.

99
00:05:12,853 --> 00:05:15,392
He's got his eye patch
and his peg leg and--

100
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:16,597
[BELL DlNGS]

101
00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:19,446
Oh, boy, that did not feel like
eight minutes.

102
00:05:19,655 --> 00:05:21,898
lndeed it did not.

103
00:05:26,124 --> 00:05:27,784
[PEOPLE CHATTERlNG ON TV]

104
00:05:27,959 --> 00:05:31,662
Hey, Fras, how did that
speed-date thing go?

105
00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:35,254
- lt could not have been worse.
- That's nice.

106
00:05:37,141 --> 00:05:41,189
- You're not listening, Dad.
- Oh, l'm sorry, son.

107
00:05:41,356 --> 00:05:43,184
Well, did you get
any phone numbers?

108
00:05:43,359 --> 00:05:46,398
No, but if l ever want to track
any of them down,

109
00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:51,914
l can always write them,
care of the bottom of the barrel.

110
00:05:52,081 --> 00:05:53,458
[KNOCKlNG]

111
00:05:53,626 --> 00:05:55,121
That's too bad.

112
00:05:56,129 --> 00:05:57,922
Hi, Daphne.
Here, let me help you with that.

113
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,666
- Oh, thank you, Dr. Crane.
- Yes, of course.

114
00:06:00,845 --> 00:06:04,050
- You're really loading up, aren't you?
- lt's for Niles' Valentine's dinner.

115
00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:07,015
- That's not till next week.
- l know but it's a complicated recipe.

116
00:06:07,189 --> 00:06:11,438
l need time to practise.
You two are gonna be my guinea pigs.

117
00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:14,610
Maybe we could fake
our own deaths.

118
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,987
Daphne...

119
00:06:17,163 --> 00:06:19,157
...are you planning on using cumin
in this recipe?

120
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,161
Yeah. The recipe calls for lots of it.

121
00:06:21,378 --> 00:06:23,787
Good Lord.
Niles is terribly allergic to cumin.

122
00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:27,959
Oh, dear. l knew about the scallops.
And the nutmeg.

123
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:31,474
The oat bran, wheat germ,
carob, parchment mites--

124
00:06:31,644 --> 00:06:32,759
Yes, yes, l know.

125
00:06:32,938 --> 00:06:36,060
He tried wearing an allergy tag but
his neck was too weak to support it.

126
00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:40,902
[PHONE RlNGS]

127
00:06:41,076 --> 00:06:44,114
Did you see that? The character
in this movie just dialled the phone,

128
00:06:44,289 --> 00:06:47,043
and at the exact same time,
our phone rang.

129
00:06:47,211 --> 00:06:50,332
lt's like Montgomery Clift
is calling me.

130
00:06:50,549 --> 00:06:52,424
Yes, that's fascinating, Dad.

131
00:06:52,594 --> 00:06:55,467
MARTlN:
Hello? Oh, hey, Niles.

132
00:06:55,975 --> 00:06:58,052
No, she can't hear.

133
00:06:58,770 --> 00:07:03,650
Oh, jeez, l don't know about that.

134
00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:07,865
Well, all right,
if it means that much to you, l'll do it.

135
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:10,076
All right, bye.

136
00:07:10,915 --> 00:07:12,494
That was your brother.

137
00:07:12,668 --> 00:07:16,454
He wants me to pack a suitcase
for Daphne for their trip to Canc�n.

138
00:07:16,674 --> 00:07:20,176
Now l'm gonna have to go through
her unmentionables.

139
00:07:20,848 --> 00:07:24,717
l wonder if l'll ever see
another unmentionable.

140
00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:27,684
Oh, come on, Fras,
it was just one bad date.

141
00:07:28,318 --> 00:07:30,988
lt was 1 2 bad dates.

142
00:07:31,531 --> 00:07:33,655
And a hundred before that.

143
00:07:33,826 --> 00:07:36,995
<i>[SlNGlNG]
l'm through with love</i>

144
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,993
<i>l'll never fall again</i>

145
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,875
<i>- You're gonna be like this all night?
- Said adieu to love</i>

146
00:07:42,048 --> 00:07:44,623
<i>- Breaks my heart to see him like this.
- Don't ever call again</i>

147
00:07:44,803 --> 00:07:46,595
Fortunately, l can't see him
from McGinty's.

148
00:07:46,764 --> 00:07:48,009
<i>For l must--</i>

149
00:07:48,976 --> 00:07:51,183
[PEOPLE CHATTERlNG ON TV]

150
00:07:51,396 --> 00:07:54,233
Hey, Fras.
How did the speed-date thing go?

151
00:07:54,443 --> 00:07:57,232
Actually, l didn't go, Dad.
l went to the hospital instead.

152
00:07:57,406 --> 00:07:59,198
Oh, that's nice.

153
00:08:01,287 --> 00:08:06,082
- Dad, you're not listening.
- Oh, well, l'm sorry, son.

154
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,416
What happened? You all right?

155
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,915
Well, actually,
l tripped and sprained my shoulder.

156
00:08:10,093 --> 00:08:11,635
But l'm actually feeling no pain

157
00:08:11,803 --> 00:08:14,343
because l met
a beautiful young woman.

158
00:08:14,558 --> 00:08:16,966
- Oh, is she a nurse?
- No, she's the girl that tripped me.

159
00:08:17,145 --> 00:08:18,177
[KNOCKlNG]

160
00:08:18,356 --> 00:08:20,183
Her name is Monica.
She's a commercial artist.

161
00:08:20,358 --> 00:08:22,685
She's cute as a button
and a danger to herself and others.

162
00:08:22,863 --> 00:08:24,026
MARTlN:
Good for you.

163
00:08:24,198 --> 00:08:26,026
- Hi, Daph.
- Could you give me a hand here?

164
00:08:26,202 --> 00:08:29,120
Well, l would,
except l sprained my shoulder.

165
00:08:29,331 --> 00:08:31,040
Bullet in the hip.

166
00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:34,963
You still have one good arm,
Dr. Crane.

167
00:08:35,132 --> 00:08:37,589
The doctor told me to take it easy.

168
00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:43,221
- Oh! l met a girl today.
- Yeah, so did she.

169
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,731
FRASlER:
You know what?

170
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:51,617
lt might be a bit soon, but l think
l'm gonna give Monica a call.

171
00:08:51,784 --> 00:08:53,029
[PHONE RlNGS]

172
00:08:53,202 --> 00:08:56,039
Did you see that? The character
in this movie just dialled the phone,

173
00:08:56,207 --> 00:08:58,878
and at the exact same time,
our phone rings.

174
00:08:59,045 --> 00:09:01,253
lt's like Montgomery Clift's
calling me.

175
00:09:01,424 --> 00:09:03,334
Say hello to him for me.

176
00:09:03,552 --> 00:09:06,424
Hello? Oh, hey, Niles.

177
00:09:06,598 --> 00:09:08,758
No, she can't hear.

178
00:09:09,353 --> 00:09:12,973
Oh, jeez, l don't know about that.

179
00:09:13,192 --> 00:09:17,489
Hi, Monica.
Yeah, injured anybody lately?

180
00:09:18,409 --> 00:09:20,118
Really?

181
00:09:21,289 --> 00:09:25,040
l was calling because l thought maybe
we could have dinner tomorrow night.

182
00:09:25,253 --> 00:09:27,710
l don't know, maybe we could meet
at Caf� Nervosa around 7

183
00:09:27,882 --> 00:09:29,841
and go from there?

184
00:09:30,011 --> 00:09:31,340
Wonderful.

185
00:09:31,513 --> 00:09:34,931
Great, l'll see you tomorrow.
Good night.

186
00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:39,021
- She said yes.
- Hey.

187
00:09:39,192 --> 00:09:41,103
Tomorrow night,
l have a date with an angel.

188
00:09:41,279 --> 00:09:42,774
[MUSlC PLAYlNG ON STEREO]

189
00:09:42,948 --> 00:09:45,785
Oh, you're gonna be like this all night,
aren't you?

190
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,909
- McGinty's?
- l'm way ahead of you.

191
00:09:52,923 --> 00:09:55,593
So we had dinner again Thursday
night and then again on Friday.

192
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,882
She had plans with her parents on
Saturday, so to keep our streak alive,

193
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:03,478
l actually sent her a videotape of me
eating and talking into the camera.

194
00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:05,018
That's cute.

195
00:10:05,192 --> 00:10:08,313
- You don't think it's a little too much?
- No. lf you like her, go for it.

196
00:10:08,488 --> 00:10:09,865
- How are things with Mike?
- Good.

197
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:12,786
He's taking me to the Heart
Association benefit on Valentine's Day.

198
00:10:12,954 --> 00:10:14,995
l'm going too.
You know, l think this is a first.

199
00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:18,833
You and l in happy relationships
at the same time.

200
00:10:19,005 --> 00:10:20,666
- Hi, Roz. Hi, Frasier.
- Oh, hi.

201
00:10:20,841 --> 00:10:22,966
- How's your head?
- Oh, it's better, actually.

202
00:10:23,137 --> 00:10:25,545
My peripheral vision's coming back.

203
00:10:25,765 --> 00:10:28,175
l'm so sorry. Listen, everyone at work
is talking about

204
00:10:28,353 --> 00:10:31,724
the beautiful flowers you sent me.
Thank you.

205
00:10:31,901 --> 00:10:34,987
Wait till you see what's next. You won't
be able to thank me in public.

206
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:36,319
l hate to break it to you.

207
00:10:36,491 --> 00:10:39,613
You don't have to keep sending me
flowers and poetry.

208
00:10:39,788 --> 00:10:42,744
You officially have my attention.

209
00:10:43,461 --> 00:10:45,371
- l'm gonna get some coffee.
- Let me get that.

210
00:10:45,547 --> 00:10:49,843
No. You're sweet,
but l think l can get my own coffee.

211
00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:53,381
Looks like all that hard work
you've been doing is paying off.

212
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:54,723
l'm not about to let up now.

213
00:10:54,896 --> 00:10:57,602
l never want her to feel
as if she's being taken for granted.

214
00:10:57,775 --> 00:10:59,853
Wow. You're giving Niles
a run for his money.

215
00:11:00,029 --> 00:11:03,067
Oh, please. ln the great
golden book of love,

216
00:11:03,243 --> 00:11:07,373
Niles will be a mere footnote
to my glorious saga.

217
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:11,292
l'm gonna take his ball and run it
to the end zone. ls that a thing?

218
00:11:11,464 --> 00:11:13,089
- Yes.
- Good.

219
00:11:21,396 --> 00:11:24,648
Oh, come on, Fras. You've been
moping around here all week.

220
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:28,688
Why don't you join me at McGinty's?
lt's crazy there on Valentine's Day.

221
00:11:28,866 --> 00:11:30,990
Last year, McGinty hired
this fat guy in a diaper

222
00:11:31,161 --> 00:11:33,832
to run around shooting
a bow and arrow at people.

223
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:38,579
No, no, wait.
That might have been the Super Bowl.

224
00:11:39,257 --> 00:11:42,379
You had me right up
until ''diaper,'' Dad.

225
00:11:42,596 --> 00:11:44,674
You guys, you guys, you guys,
you have to see this.

226
00:11:44,850 --> 00:11:47,556
Look, look,
Daphne has sauce on her nose.

227
00:11:47,771 --> 00:11:50,560
ls that the cutest thing
you've ever seen in your life?

228
00:11:50,734 --> 00:11:52,812
Wait, wait. Let me get it.

229
00:11:53,155 --> 00:11:54,436
- Ohh.
- Yum, yum, yum.

230
00:11:54,615 --> 00:11:56,110
DAPHNE:
You've got some on your neck.

231
00:11:56,284 --> 00:11:57,744
Oh, do l?

232
00:11:57,912 --> 00:11:59,989
- Who's ticklish?
- Are you ticklish too?

233
00:12:00,165 --> 00:12:01,745
All right, all right, truce, truce.

234
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:05,171
l was gonna wait until after dinner
to tell you this, but l can't.

235
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:10,048
ln three hours, you and l
are gonna be on a plane to Canc�n.

236
00:12:10,224 --> 00:12:11,303
[DAPHNE GASPS]

237
00:12:11,475 --> 00:12:14,015
DAPHNE: l barely have time to pack.
NlLES: That's already taken care of.

238
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:17,601
- Dad packed a bag for you.
- Oh, Mr. Crane.

239
00:12:17,777 --> 00:12:19,652
[DAPHNE LAUGHlNG]

240
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,072
- l've never been this happy.
- l'm happier than you.

241
00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:26,409
<i>Excuse me. Somebody's trying
to watch Behind the Music here.</i>

242
00:12:27,543 --> 00:12:29,002
[PHONE RlNGS]

243
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,752
Hello? Yeah, hi, Roz.

244
00:12:32,968 --> 00:12:36,920
No, no, l'm not going to the benefit.

245
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,764
Yeah, l'll bet she's got
a great personality.

246
00:12:39,937 --> 00:12:42,395
Yes, well, thanks anyway, Roz.
Listen, you have a good time.

247
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:44,110
All right. Good night.

248
00:12:44,277 --> 00:12:46,438
- Roz find you a date for tonight?
- Yeah.

249
00:12:46,657 --> 00:12:49,362
She's going with some guy
in her building. He's got a sister.

250
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,823
You ought to go. lt beats hanging
around here feeling sorry for yourself.

251
00:12:53,041 --> 00:12:55,368
Dad, please.
The only thing worse than a blind date

252
00:12:55,546 --> 00:12:58,216
would be a blind date
on Valentine's Day. Okay?

253
00:12:58,383 --> 00:13:00,507
l can't imagine a worse way
to spend the evening.

254
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,130
[GlGGLlNG]

255
00:13:03,308 --> 00:13:06,393
You have to see this.
Ready, ready, ready?

256
00:13:10,777 --> 00:13:13,946
Oh, let's get more. Come on,
come on, let's do it again, wait.

257
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:19,072
Maybe Roz hasn't left yet.

258
00:13:19,876 --> 00:13:23,127
lt is now 7:45.
At this precise moment,

259
00:13:23,297 --> 00:13:27,048
she should be receiving
a jeroboam of chilled champagne.

260
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,215
- You're really laying it on thick.
- Oh, God, Dad.

261
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,884
You don't know the half of it.
This morning, she was awakened

262
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,186
by a string quartet on her porch.

263
00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:36,357
And then when Monica arrived
at her office,

264
00:13:36,527 --> 00:13:38,984
there were seven dozen roses
on her desk.

265
00:13:39,156 --> 00:13:41,696
A dozen for every day
that l've known her.

266
00:13:41,911 --> 00:13:43,109
DAPHNE: l'm sorry.
MARTlN: What happened?

267
00:13:43,288 --> 00:13:45,282
He's having some kind of reaction
to the sauce.

268
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,368
- Did you put scallops in it?
- No.

269
00:13:47,544 --> 00:13:49,005
- Nutmeg?
- Wheat germ?

270
00:13:49,172 --> 00:13:51,047
- Carob?
- Cumin?

271
00:13:51,217 --> 00:13:53,092
Maybe.

272
00:13:53,763 --> 00:13:55,922
Oh, this is a disaster.

273
00:13:56,099 --> 00:13:58,260
We have reservations
to fly to Canc�n tonight.

274
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,311
- Oh, really?
- Well, we can't go now.

275
00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:02,606
l can't possibly sit still
on a plane for five hours

276
00:14:02,777 --> 00:14:04,687
with this rash you've given me.

277
00:14:04,863 --> 00:14:08,069
Now, please don't let a little mistake
disturb the most magical evening of--

278
00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:11,531
- Oh, the whole weekend is ruined.
- Well, l said l was sorry.

279
00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:13,453
Well, l even had Dad
pack a bag for you.

280
00:14:13,628 --> 00:14:15,787
You did what?
You let him go through my things.

281
00:14:15,964 --> 00:14:18,125
How could you?

282
00:14:18,552 --> 00:14:22,599
l'm sorry. l was trying to do something
nice for our first Valentine's Day.

283
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:24,844
DAPHNE: Well, what do you think
l was trying to do?

284
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:29,103
Now l'm gonna have to spend the
whole night rubbing lotion all over you.

285
00:14:32,825 --> 00:14:35,033
l'm sorry l yelled at you.

286
00:14:37,373 --> 00:14:40,045
You have sauce on your nose.
Let me get it. Lick it.

287
00:14:40,211 --> 00:14:43,417
DAPHNE: You've got some
on your neck. Let me get it.

288
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:46,296
[BAND PLAYlNG]

289
00:14:46,472 --> 00:14:47,717
- Oh, hi, Roz.
- Hi.

290
00:14:47,890 --> 00:14:49,931
- Say, where's Mike?
- Oh, he's parking the car.

291
00:14:50,102 --> 00:14:52,429
- Monica, what a gorgeous corsage.
MONlCA: Oh, thanks.

292
00:14:52,606 --> 00:14:56,227
lt was a gift from Frasier.
Along with about a million roses.

293
00:14:56,446 --> 00:14:58,939
- Hello, young lovers.
FRASlER: Oh, Kenny.

294
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,485
- Look at you.
- What can l say?

295
00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:04,665
Under this gruff exterior
beats the heart of a true romantic.

296
00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:07,409
l just love love.

297
00:15:08,048 --> 00:15:10,884
- So where's your wife?
- She had plans.

298
00:15:12,096 --> 00:15:14,054
- Come on, Kenny. l'll buy you a drink.
- Great.

299
00:15:14,224 --> 00:15:15,719
Well, you know,
why don't we sit down?

300
00:15:15,893 --> 00:15:18,432
- Okay.
- Here we are. Let me.

301
00:15:18,605 --> 00:15:20,516
l was thinking that perhaps
after the party

302
00:15:20,693 --> 00:15:23,231
we could take a carriage ride
through the park,

303
00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:25,529
make our way to your place,
where l believe

304
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:29,617
there is a 2-pound box
of chocolate truffles waiting for you.

305
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:31,036
Two pounds.

306
00:15:31,209 --> 00:15:33,880
Yes. Well, your sister told me
that truffles were your favourite.

307
00:15:34,047 --> 00:15:37,584
You talked to Cheryl?
Oh, l haven't talked to her in months.

308
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:41,423
You'll have your chance on Sunday.
We're having dinner with her and Jack.

309
00:15:41,976 --> 00:15:45,561
- There's a lot of people here.
- Oh, yes, of course. l understand.

310
00:15:49,906 --> 00:15:51,448
- Hey, Frasier.
- Oh, hi, Roz.

311
00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:54,405
- Hi. Happy Valentine's Day.
- Same to you.

312
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,407
- This is my date, Robert.
- Nice to meet you.

313
00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:57,663
Nice to meet you too.

314
00:15:57,835 --> 00:16:00,672
Well, Roz, listen. Thanks for
getting me out of the house.

315
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,917
l've been feeling sorry for myself
long enough.

316
00:16:03,093 --> 00:16:05,087
- Oh, that's the spirit.
FRASlER: On the way over here,

317
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:08,431
l was actually getting sort of excited
about meeting somebody new.

318
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,094
- Here's my sister now.
FRASlER: Oh.

319
00:16:11,773 --> 00:16:14,397
Oh, my God. Arrr.

320
00:16:14,611 --> 00:16:17,020
- Arrr.
- Arrr.

321
00:16:17,199 --> 00:16:19,074
Okay.

322
00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:22,579
Looks like you two know each other.
You even have your own language.

323
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:25,871
- lt must be fate.
- Must be.

324
00:16:27,382 --> 00:16:29,042
Ah.

325
00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:33,176
- For you.
- Oh, another rose.

326
00:16:33,349 --> 00:16:34,465
Yes.

327
00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:37,515
Frasier, uh, l appreciate
everything you're doing.

328
00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:39,849
The flowers, the carriage ride,

329
00:16:40,027 --> 00:16:42,864
the ''Love ls...'' cartoons
from the newspaper.

330
00:16:43,032 --> 00:16:44,824
Oh.

331
00:16:45,034 --> 00:16:48,121
lt's just a drop in the ocean
compared to what you deserve.

332
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:49,453
[SONG ENDS]

333
00:16:49,625 --> 00:16:51,121
Oh.

334
00:16:54,801 --> 00:16:58,420
That song was dedicated
to Mr. and Mrs. Terry Craypens,

335
00:16:58,598 --> 00:17:00,639
celebrating their 30th anniversary.

336
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,185
[CROWD APPLAUDlNG]

337
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,311
- That's so cute.
- Well, l'm glad to hear you say that.

338
00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:10,240
- You wait right here.
- Okay.

339
00:17:12,704 --> 00:17:16,157
Good evening, everybody.
l'm Dr. Frasier Crane.

340
00:17:16,501 --> 00:17:19,338
Normally, l deal
with matters of the head,

341
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:23,589
but tonight l'd like to share
what's in my heart.

342
00:17:23,763 --> 00:17:26,801
Monica, this is for you.

343
00:17:26,976 --> 00:17:30,347
<i>[SlNGlNG]
Have l a hope or half a chance</i>

344
00:17:30,565 --> 00:17:35,395
<i>To even think
That l could dance with you?</i>

345
00:17:36,158 --> 00:17:38,317
<i>Ooh, ooh</i>

346
00:17:39,287 --> 00:17:44,036
<i>Would you greet me
Or politely turn away?</i>

347
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:52,172
<i>Would there suddenly be sunshine
On a cold and rainy day?</i>

348
00:17:52,350 --> 00:17:56,766
<i>Oh, babe, what would you say?</i>

349
00:17:59,277 --> 00:18:02,530
<i>Yes, oh, baby, l know</i>

350
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:06,237
<i>l know l could be so in love</i>

351
00:18:06,456 --> 00:18:07,784
Congratulations.

352
00:18:07,958 --> 00:18:10,201
<i>With you</i>

353
00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:16,380
<i>And l know that l could make you
Love me too</i>

354
00:18:17,307 --> 00:18:22,766
<i>And if l could hear you
Say the words you do</i>

355
00:18:26,654 --> 00:18:32,945
<i>Well, anyway, what would you say?</i>

356
00:18:33,958 --> 00:18:35,868
Frasier, we need to talk.

357
00:18:40,384 --> 00:18:41,928
Ouch.

358
00:18:45,851 --> 00:18:48,178
Don't get me wrong, Frasier.
Everything you did was nice.

359
00:18:48,355 --> 00:18:50,848
lt was just too much.

360
00:18:51,027 --> 00:18:53,898
l mean, you made me feel like
a project and not a person.

361
00:18:54,072 --> 00:18:55,533
Well, l could tone things down.

362
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,943
We can start fresh.
How about lunch tomorrow?

363
00:18:58,455 --> 00:19:01,208
Now, you see,
l was gonna say breakfast.

364
00:19:01,418 --> 00:19:03,578
l think l should go.

365
00:19:03,797 --> 00:19:05,873
l see. Well, you know, l'll get my car.

366
00:19:06,091 --> 00:19:10,471
No, that's okay. l'm gonna get my stuff
and just take a cab, so...

367
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:13,140
Bye, Frasier.

368
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:20,020
- Are you okay?
- Oh, well, l'm humiliated.

369
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,945
Oh, Frasier, nobody even noticed
what happened.

370
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:24,947
Ouch.

371
00:19:27,919 --> 00:19:30,457
Ah, it's my own fault, really.

372
00:19:30,631 --> 00:19:33,302
l guess l just saw what Niles had...

373
00:19:33,469 --> 00:19:35,878
...and l pushed too hard
to get it for myself.

374
00:19:36,098 --> 00:19:40,430
Well, if it means anything, l thought
what you did was terribly romantic.

375
00:19:41,231 --> 00:19:42,856
Well, maybe.

376
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,646
Come on.
Let me walk you to your car.

377
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,814
- What about Mike?
- lt'll only be a few minutes.

378
00:19:46,990 --> 00:19:48,783
He'll be fine.

379
00:19:51,121 --> 00:19:53,994
Oh, l'm sorry. l am such a klutz.

380
00:19:54,168 --> 00:19:56,578
- lt's okay. lt's fine.
- Let me get you another drink.

381
00:19:56,756 --> 00:19:59,046
- lt's the least l can do.
- l guess that'd be okay.

382
00:19:59,218 --> 00:20:01,129
- Okay.
- Mike.

383
00:20:01,305 --> 00:20:03,345
Monica.

384
00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:08,310
<i>ANNOUNCER [ON RADlO]: We now
return to a repeat broadcast of</i>

385
00:20:08,482 --> 00:20:11,271
<i>The Best of Crane.
Please do not call in.</i>

386
00:20:11,487 --> 00:20:13,197
<i>FRASlER: Before the break
we were talking to Phil,</i>

387
00:20:13,366 --> 00:20:15,406
<i>who's having trouble
getting over a relationship.</i>

388
00:20:15,577 --> 00:20:20,242
<i>Phil, if you're listening, it might help
to keep in mind the old adage:</i>

389
00:20:20,418 --> 00:20:24,881
<i>''lt's better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all. ''</i>

390
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:26,676
l do make a good point.

391
00:20:27,554 --> 00:20:29,845
What a load of crap.

392
00:20:30,393 --> 00:20:33,098
<i>FRASlER: Let's go to our next caller.
WOMAN: Hi, this is Rachel.</i>

393
00:20:33,271 --> 00:20:35,978
<i>l wanted to let you know l read
that Thurber book you quoted from,</i>

394
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:38,561
<i>- and, man, is he funny.
FRASlER: Glad you liked it.</i>

395
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:40,400
<i>RACHEL:
l also have a confession to make.</i>

396
00:20:40,575 --> 00:20:42,616
<i>You know,
l have a big crush on you.</i>

397
00:20:42,787 --> 00:20:44,946
<i>FRASlER:
Oh, well, l'm flattered, Rachel,</i>

398
00:20:45,124 --> 00:20:47,414
<i>but l make it a policy
not to date my callers.</i>

399
00:20:47,586 --> 00:20:49,330
<i>RACHEL:
Well, if you ever change your mind,</i>

400
00:20:49,506 --> 00:20:51,833
<i>l'm the chef
at the Columbia Street Grill.</i>

401
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:55,179
<i>You should come by sometime.</i>

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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